Fearful-avoidant attachment
Wanting reassurance and feeling uneasy with closeness can happen together. This is often discussed as a fearful-avoidant pattern.
What you might notice
You may seek contact and then feel overwhelmed when it arrives. Notice what changes between those moments: the pace, the topic, the response you received, or a boundary that felt unclear.
A practical starting point
Choose a small, manageable form of connection. Say both parts of the need: “I want to talk, but I need to go slowly.” You can change the pace without dismissing your wish for closeness.
Keep the distinction clear
Two elevated questionnaire scores do not establish a childhood cause or diagnose trauma. Adult self-report patterns and developmental attachment classifications are not interchangeable.
Attachment style test
See the attachment tendency your answers lean toward, with the two dimensions behind it.
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